tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8198969049157532269.post8852402161536909043..comments2023-07-21T02:20:37.209-07:00Comments on Baby-Making Merry-go-Round: Breast is Best. But is it?Mrs Green Grasshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02458001574184407164noreply@blogger.comBlogger17125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8198969049157532269.post-28076887089978513152013-03-27T11:19:16.951-07:002013-03-27T11:19:16.951-07:00Hi there...I have lurked around your blog from tim...Hi there...I have lurked around your blog from time to time and stumbled upon this post from visiting another blog and am extremely thankful to have read it. I don't have a preemie but I totally agree and understand how you feel. It didn't work out for me either and like others have said, I have guilt also that I'm slowly working through. I just wanted to be one more person to say "you are not alone" and to let you know that, by reading this post, you have done the same for me. :) Thanks for sharing your story. We are certainly doing the best we can!!!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8198969049157532269.post-24909289517453650932013-03-22T11:19:01.511-07:002013-03-22T11:19:01.511-07:00And you probably had no idea that I'm and Engl...And you probably had no idea that I'm and English teacher Harry potter lover...:).Mrs Green Grasshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02458001574184407164noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8198969049157532269.post-39007158520872325212013-03-22T10:10:02.837-07:002013-03-22T10:10:02.837-07:00You keep doing what's best for you and Dylan. ...You keep doing what's best for you and Dylan. Mama knows best - and you're doing an amazing job! Aliciahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15032718306225742021noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8198969049157532269.post-80093481191635103432013-03-22T09:57:28.175-07:002013-03-22T09:57:28.175-07:00I don't have any kids, and as you read on my b...I don't have any kids, and as you read on my blog if we ever have them they will probably be adopted so breastfeeding won't really be a choice. I do feel like breast is best and people should try to do it, but I don't think badly about people who did try and it just didn't work out for them. Really I don't think badly about people who didn't even try. It's more like when people tell me they've never read Harry Potter. "Really, you didn't even try?" but I say that in my head not out loud and after that brief moment I take a to each his own approach. Breast may be best when possible, but there are a heck of a lot of stuff I do that isn't best. Eating an ice cream float for breakfast isn't anywhere near the best choice so who am I to judge?Frozen OJhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14131711839046100355noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8198969049157532269.post-84986906254730482362013-03-22T07:44:24.249-07:002013-03-22T07:44:24.249-07:00Hi from ICLW...I wish I could add to the conversat...Hi from ICLW...I wish I could add to the conversation Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8198969049157532269.post-21437416264034744862013-03-21T13:04:17.214-07:002013-03-21T13:04:17.214-07:00Hi from ICLW. I really don't know what to say...Hi from ICLW. I really don't know what to say because I don't have kids yet. I know in theory I'd like to breast feed.Rebeccahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06316511791499949824noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8198969049157532269.post-82181603205666087672013-03-20T17:18:26.774-07:002013-03-20T17:18:26.774-07:00I have tried recently, but it definitely expends e...I have tried recently, but it definitely expends energy and at our doc appt today, he's now in the 1st percentile, so better hold off a bit longer...Mrs Green Grasshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02458001574184407164noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8198969049157532269.post-72526706269661786252013-03-20T16:49:08.216-07:002013-03-20T16:49:08.216-07:00i dont see anything wrong with trying to teach him...i dont see anything wrong with trying to teach him BF now, as long as you don't stress him or yourself, as long as you think if he takes it, great, if he doesnt, great... monhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02420197465284422859noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8198969049157532269.post-22022005300659569982013-03-20T12:58:19.193-07:002013-03-20T12:58:19.193-07:00Breast is best... but it's a damn good thing f...Breast is best... but it's a damn good thing formula is there for people who need it! And it sounds like Dylan is one of those people. It's so hard to advocate what's best without making people feel guilty when they can't do it, for whatever reason. Preemies are different; they have different medical needs. If he needs formula, well, that's what it's for. It is great that you're able to mix some BM into it. But it sounds like you're doing what's best for YOUR baby, and that's what counts. It just sucks that it's one more thing for you to feel left out about.Deborahhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07335915683875653154noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8198969049157532269.post-73430600909035464992013-03-20T08:59:40.615-07:002013-03-20T08:59:40.615-07:00I'm going to say what all bottle feeders (is t...I'm going to say what all bottle feeders (is that a thing?) are thinking. Breast is NOT always best. I have come to loath the propaganda out there claiming that breast is best, and that your baby instinctively knows how to breastfeed upon being born, and that the real learning curve is for mom, and all the pats on the back that exclusively breastfeeding moms give themselves for making it to their breastfeeding milestones (6 months, 12 months, etc.). I understand that for some moms breastfeeding is difficult but they stuck with it when it got hard, found support, and were able to successfully breastfeed for their desired amount of time. For those moms I give kudos. For other moms breastfeeding just works, and aside from engorgement, leakage, and some minor blips on the path breastfeeding is fairly easy. And then there is a special group of moms (and it is bigger than anyone wants to think) that the roadblocks getting in the way of breastfeeding are too big to overcome. I don't know anyone these days who is pregnant and states that their goal is to feed a bottle of formula to their baby, or spend hours pumping with little return for the first year of their baby's life. Not breastfeeding is hard, time consuming, and emotionally difficult. And on top of that we have a lot of guilt associated with our 'failure' to breastfeed. You are not alone in this emotional journey. And you are not a failure if you choose to feed your son from a bottle. You are evaluating you baby's needs, and doing everything in your power to meet those needs. And isn't that more important that the vessel you serve his meals in? You are Dylan's mom. Only you know what is best for him. Go with your gut on this one. Mrs. Fhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10796890477396571476noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8198969049157532269.post-88252544278779115432013-03-20T06:33:12.872-07:002013-03-20T06:33:12.872-07:00im so sorry you are feeling this way, what a heart...im so sorry you are feeling this way, what a heartbreaking post to read. my partner wasn't able to bf our twins and it was *extremely* emotional for her. even though she pumped for 12 months, she felt like a huge failure and felt judged by her family (who are very strong bf advocates). sadly, it's just the beginning of the "mommy wars" - constant competition and judgment, whether said or unsaid, between moms. we really need to do better _supporting_ one another...<br /><br />fwiw, it seems to me like you are doing an amazing job for your sweet boy - YOU are his momma and YOU know what he needs. keep doing exactly what you're doing. xoAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8198969049157532269.post-90867950662627960562013-03-19T19:23:10.855-07:002013-03-19T19:23:10.855-07:00doing what is right for Dylan is the most importan...doing what is right for Dylan is the most important thing. He is getting breast milk. He is growing. Yes, it's slow, but he's still growing. I was never able to get my daughter to latch properly and she had horrible reflux. I exclusively pumped for the first 6 months of her life and weaned during the 7th month (I'm old and we have frozen embryos we wanted to attempt to use before I'm really really old). I was able to feed her breast milk through 10 months with my freezer stash. I hated the looks I got from people when I gave her a bottle in public. People judging me for NOT breastfeeding even though she was getting breast milk. It was hard. I received wonderful support in the hospital and in an outpatient setting, but it just didn't work. I think you're doing an amazing job as a mom doing what is best for your son. Ramble away dear, this is one heck of a touchy subject.SLES75https://www.blogger.com/profile/12877385793219947998noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8198969049157532269.post-78465227387583776342013-03-19T16:49:41.984-07:002013-03-19T16:49:41.984-07:00You do what you've gotta do - sounds like litt...You do what you've gotta do - sounds like little man is doing well, and that's all that matters! xBreathe Gentlyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11513783056593377296noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8198969049157532269.post-74532324237827186462013-03-19T13:03:13.556-07:002013-03-19T13:03:13.556-07:00ugh. I hated hated hated hated hated pumping, so t...ugh. I hated hated hated hated hated pumping, so the fact you do it SIX TIMES A DAY??? You are my HERO!<br /><br />I breastfed A until his 1st birthday. I, on the other hand, was formula fed and I turned out just fine. Whatever you feed your baby is best. <br /><br />Have you read this blog before? www.skepticalob.com<br /><br />Check her out. She has posts on this issue.My Vegashttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02232402432779260397noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8198969049157532269.post-50538460692419719622013-03-19T12:55:40.830-07:002013-03-19T12:55:40.830-07:00I feel for you. I did not have a preemie...but wa...I feel for you. I did not have a preemie...but was forced to go exclusivley to bottle fed (breast milk and rice cereal) because of my son's reflux. For 4 months he only got the bottle and I would give him a somewhat empty breast just to remind him what it was every couple days. But...he did show improvement in the reflux at about 5 months old (it started at 3 weeks)and we were then able to go back to the breast for about 50% of our feeds. Don't second guess yourself on what is best for Dylan. In your gut you know you are doing the right thing. but...I also understand that you have been robbed of the normal newborn/nursing/bonding time due to his prematurity and there is bound to be some mourning for the loss of that. don't let the boobie police intimidate you. they are doing what they think is best for their baby and it works for them....yay them. they don't need to be all judgy about the decisions of others...to advocate is okay...to bully is NOT!!!!<br />Hang in there...you are doing great.<br />kd<br />kdactylhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02123983421783902463noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8198969049157532269.post-74801167007384388282013-03-19T12:50:29.117-07:002013-03-19T12:50:29.117-07:00It was mandated by the pediatrician that we give m...It was mandated by the pediatrician that we give my (full-term) wee babe formula from the git go. Like you, I've been trying to keep some BFing in the mix, though it's hard with pumping, etc. Actually in our house, it's my *husband* that is so pro-BFing. But I keep I wondering if it REALLY is that much better. <br /><br />http://www.guardian.co.uk/lifeandstyle/2013/feb/10/breastfeeding-best-debate<br />Transplanthttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14669650656709449796noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8198969049157532269.post-78090639896512059742013-03-19T10:25:14.128-07:002013-03-19T10:25:14.128-07:00Whatever you are doing and continue to do for Dyla...Whatever you are doing and continue to do for Dylan is what is best. Its is abundantly clear to me (and probably to everyone else who reads this blog) that you do ANYTHING for that little boy. Including continue to pump enviable ounces of BM for him to only take a small amount. THAT is dedication. You need to focus on his health. If he needs calories, get him calories. He is getting some BM daily, so he IS getting the benefits. Once he has feeding down and has gained more weight, introduce more and more.<br /><br />Your husband will never get it. Its not him, its biological. They might understand the importance, but not the bond or the emotions or the guilt that can come along with it. Try not to hold that against him, hes only looking at it as black and white. <br /><br />For now, continue to focus on keeping that beautiful little boy happy and healthy and growing. You have lots of milk to give him. You can get it into him eventually. For now, do what your heart and mind tell you is best.<br /><br />LivsmamaKellyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00695546040512942034noreply@blogger.com