I think it must come down to stress...because that's about all I can think about right now.
What's stressing me out?
- Our Principal is leaving...so much uncertainty...
- We are house-hunting. I don't know where we will be living next Fall and we have tons to do before we can list our house.
- Preschool - I'm going to send Dylan to one by our current house over the summer, but since I don't know where we will be living in the Fall, I can't even research new options or get on waiting lists. This one REALLY stresses me out!
That's it, but it's all very big for me, especially number 1. I have had to be more assertive than I'm used to to fight to be on the panel to select the next one. I'm trying to make decisions based on how I think a man would handle the situation, but as an over-thinker that leads to...A TON OF OVERTHINKING. It's weird to come to the point of more experience and authority in your career and have to deal with more gender-based issues. If I leave it alone, I'm afraid I'll come off as too passive. But if I speak up for myself too strongly, I risk being seen as "bitchy." Trying to walk a fine line has my wound up very tightly. Blah.
The situation for #1 is hard. Women and men do get treated differently with respect to assertion. I know from experience that when a man says the exact same thing as I do, including tone and body language, the response is always more positive. That said, I've also learned to error on the side of bitchy because otherwise the end product causes even more stress.
ReplyDeleteGood luck with house hunting and preschool selection!
Ugh. A female surgeon that I used to work with once said to me, "If I'm a man and I'm assertive, I'm just standing up for myself and what I feel is right to be doing. But as a woman, if I'm assertive, I'm just a b*tch." Good luck!
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