Friday, October 28, 2011

The Breast Cancer Gene

A note about breast cancer.

It is Breast Cancer Awareness Month after all...  I have a ton of breast cancer in my family: my mom (survivor), aunt (survivor), and Maternal Grandmother (deceased, lung and breast cancer).  My mom was only 43 when she was diagnosed.  Because of our family history, my mom got the whole genetic scan for the BRCA breast cancer mutations and was found to have a mutation on the BRCA 2 gene (or is it a chromosome?).   Since then my aunt, uncle, sister, and myself have all been tested for that specific mutation and we are all positive for it.  I really am totally fine with this.  Because of my family history I have always known that I have a very increased risk for breast cancer and the gene just confirms the risk.  The upside is that is qualifies us (my sister and myself - we got tested together and are following the same preventative treatment plan) for closer monitoring which is great.

There are 3 basic options for women like my sister and I. 

Option 1: prophylactic surgery
The most aggressive option is a prophylactic double mastectomy and oophorectomy. (Remove the breasts and ovaries before they have a chance to become cancerous.)   I know that some women choose this option, but it's not for me.  Although, I will have my ovaries removed after I have kids since cervical cancer is very difficult to detect. 

Option 2: chemoprevention
Taking one of the breast cancer drugs as a preventative measure has shown success.  But these drugs also have side effects and they haven't been studied over very long periods of time.  Maybe we will consider this when we are older. 

Option 3: increased monitoring
This is where my sister and I are starting.  We both had our baseline Breast MRI this past summer which we will repeat each year following.  Our doctor suggests this starting at age 25 for women who are positive for the BRCA mutation.

Mammography is not very successful on young women because our dense breasts make it harder to detect cancer.  The breast MRI is clearer, but has a high rate of false positives.  This is why women with a normal risk do not receive screening before age 40.

The bottom line: You are a better breast cancer detector than a mammogram or an MRI.  Check yourself at the same time each month and do not ignore suspicious lumps!

A final note.  I think it's great that so many companies support breast cancer research, but please make sure that you read the fine print before buying "pink" products.  I only buy products where 100% of the proceeds go to the cause.  It's not right for companies to be making money off of "causes" like cancer prevention.

Jennifer Anniston's shirt for Ford's Warriors in Pink is a great option.  100% of the proceeds go to Susan G. Komen.

Wednesday, October 26, 2011

This post is dedicated to Giuliana & Bill

Wow...this woman really is inspirational.  It's hard to feel sorry for yourself when someone else shares their way more difficult story.

I knew Giuliana & Bill were going through infertility treatments, but never watched the show.  For some reason, I came across it last weekend.  The episode I saw is their first IVF treatment.  They are so excited to find out that they are pregnant.  I didn't know the exact outcome, but knew that this episode was in the past and that they are not pregnant now.  So I googled the whole story while watching.  I found out that this IVF would result in miscarriage during week 8 and that the next attempt will not work either.  Then on their third attempt, the doctor says she must get a mammogram first because pregnancy can speed the growth of cancer.  She is 36 years old and finds out that she has the early stages of breast cancer.  What more can this woman go through?

It was heart-breaking to see their joy, knowing the pain they were in for.  That's the scariest part of having this process take a long time.  When it happens, you can barely believe it.  you don't want to get too excited in case it doesn't work out.  I got a packet of info in the mail from the RE I will be going to next week.  And it in they explain that even if you go through IUI, IVF, etc., the risk for miscarriage never changes since it's the bodies way of making sure everything is right. 

Thank you Giuliana (& Bill) for being so open during this extremely painful process.  Sharing your story helps countless others going through similar situations.  Through the tears and the pain, we are rooting for you!

Giuliana went back to work this week after having a double lumpectomy and she still has future radiation treatment. 

I truly hope the Rancics are able to have their healthy baby soon!

*More Breast Cancer Awareness Inspired posts to come.*

Monday, October 24, 2011

Skincare while TTC

So when I went off of birth control, my face EXPLODED.  I mean I was walking around like an embarrassed 16 year old. And trust me; it's even worse when you are actually teaching 16 year olds every single day.  (Digression: when I was student teaching, an 8th grader left a note on my chair during class.  The note read: "Your armpits are sweaty."  My internal monologue: "Thanks kid. I know my armpits are sweaty!  Why do you think I've been trying to teach without lifting my arms.  Jerk.")  Kids are extremely honest and I was just waiting for a new note on my chair, this time about my face.  Luckily I teach high school and these students are slightly more tactful and respectful.  No one ever mentioned my disgusting face, but I worried about it every. single. day.

When I went to the dermatologist, I mentioned that I was TTC because I knew that many medications were not good for babies.  This was back in the days when I thought I would be pregnant any day...ah my blissful ignorance of the true TTC journey that awaited me...

Anyway, he told me that all medications are rated from A-Z on a safety level for pregnancy.  Accutane is a Z.  There is a warning on the bottle (and even pictures I've heard) about severe birth defects.  There are no medications that are an A.  But the doctor proscribed Clindamycin Gel for me that is classified as a B.  He said that he would be comfortable with his wife taking it while pregnant although he said I could always stop if needed.

It was slow, but my face really did clear up; at least the crazy oil sheen disappeared.  My skin had been clear and basically normal for about 11 years.  I often got compliments on it.  Coping with my "new skin" was really difficult!

Here's how I know it worked.  When I got pregnant last month, I stopped using the gel.  I didn't really think about it.  But a few days ago I noticed that my face was getting really oil and ridiculous again.  I thought maybe it's just the time of year, since it was September/October last time too, but then I's been a month since I used the Clindamycin.  Duh!

I also started using the cleanser/moisturizer combo of CeraVe.  My skin never really liked the uber-popular, Cetaphil and it's been really hard to find the right cleanser.  Also, I have very sensitive skin.  Many products feel like they burn and I get red easily.  I LOVE the CeraVe cleanser.  I have also tried 3 of their moisurtizers.  I like the PM moisturizer, do no like the AM moisturizer, and am unsure about the big bottle of moisturizing lotion.  Overall, I highly recommend CeraVe. It's a little expensive, but very gentle and worth it!

I was hoping my face would correct itself, but apparently not.  Thank goodness for dermatologists!

What's your face routine post BC?

Friday, October 21, 2011

My Life Outside TTC

I need to step away from baby talk for a day I think.

So I won't mention that I confirmed yesterday that both women at school who got married significantly after me are both noticeably pregnant.  Good for them : /.  And I won't talk about the fact that my temp dropped today and that this cycle is just about over.  Good riddance.  I hate this cycle anyway....

Let's talk about the fact that I am a Champion!  No, really.  My indoor soccer team won the playoffs last night.  It was quite exciting.  The first game was competitive but we won 2-0, a very low score for indoor.  But the second game was against our arch-nemesis the Yellow team!  I hate that team.  A lot.

They scored first and second, both on mistakes we made.  There were also 2 blue cards issued in the first 5 minutes (where a player is ejected for 2 minutes, kind of like hockey).  The second blue card foul was committed against me because this girl checked me into the wall.  Ouch.  I might have called her an F'ing Biyatch.  Whoops! (Totally out of character for me.  I was pissed!). 

By half-time, we were up 4-3 after scoring some awesome goals, one right after another.  I had the assist on one : ).  We worked super hard to keep them from scoring the tying goal, but we got lazy for a second and they scored with about 2 minutes left, which took us too....penalty shots!

I really did not want to take one of the penalty shots.  I can make them occasionally, but the last time I missed, I re-played the shot over and over in my mind for at least the next 24 hours.  I can be pretty hard on myself.  So the plan was for me to go last.  First shot, in!  Second shot in! Third and Fourth - not in.  It's now 2-2.  We make our last shot, they miss....AND WE WIN!!!!!  It is kind of exciting even though it's just a co-ed YMCA league.

Today I can't move my neck, I have turf burn on my thigh, a scrape on a bruise on each arm respectively, an ankle that is slowly turning blue....and a Champion t-shirt!  Woo Hoo!  Hopefully I'll still be able to play in my other league tonight!

Thanks for reading my totally un-baby-related stress-relieving recap : )

How do the rest of you stay in shape?

Wednesday, October 19, 2011

Lots of Tears, a Latte, and a Blueberry Scone.

Those of you who know me from the Weddingbee Boards know that I am pretty rational and level-headed most of the time.  I've read other people's posts about breaking down in the doctor's office with a mix of pity and embarrassment.  Well, today was my day....

Yesterday, after writing a draft of my doctor rant and after calling the "scheduling line" once on Monday and two times on Tuesday and after not getting a call back, I decided to go to the office and talk to them in person.

This is bold for me; very bold.  I don't like to seem pushy because I don't want people to think I'm rude.  I don't like to get in trouble.  I feel like people are yelling at me when they are just talking about something serious.

So I show up, I'm super polite.  I explain the situation (for the 2nd time that day).  Seriously do those of you with infertility issues type up a card to have every new person read?  "We've been TTC for 14 months, charting for 7, I spot every month before AF, chemical pg last month, have done Day 3 labs, SA, HSG..." 

What I really want is a blood test to check my progesterone levels since I suspect they are low because I spot every month.  I think the old doctor might have ordered it if I had gone back, but you've read that story already.

The receptionist comes back and says that I can come in for an appointment tomorrow at 8.  I say thank you and find teachers to fill in for 2 periods of classes, then spend the rest of the night creating lessons that my students can do with out me.  Missing class is much more stressful than being there!

Almost to the point, stay with me...

So I get in there this morning and the nurse offers me a pregnancy test.  I'm 8dpo, this is totally against my rules, but I say ok, probably my first mistake.  Then the Nurse Practitioner comes in.  She's really nice and listens to my story, but basically all she has to say is that she can't do anyting and that I need to meet with an actual doctor. Um. Yes, I kinda figured.  But can't I at least have the blood test? (internal monologue)

Cue tears.  I was able to manage "I think I'm going to cry" and then just started bawling.  She felt so bad!  Of course I had to talk to 3 additional people through tears before I was finally out the door.  I got an appointment with the actual doctor (3 weeks from now, the doctor I wanted doesn't have anything until next year!), then they returned my copay since I should have never seen the NP in the first place.  Oh yeah, and then I had to pay the parking guy on the way out. 

I cried all the way back toward school to the Starbuck's parking lot.  I still couldn't decide whether I could handle teaching the rest of my classes today.  But after a long call with DH, I was able to finally calm down, treat my self to a decaf non-fat latte with one splenda and my ultimate indulgence, the 460 calorie blueberry scone and head back to school.

Want to know my sneaking deep-down suspicion about what caused the massive flow of emotion?  I was supposed to have my 8 week pregnancy check-up at the same office, with the same Nurse Practicitioner today. F.M.L.

Oh! And can't they treat those of us pariahs who can't have babies in a separate building so that we don't have to see pregnant moms and moms with babies at every angle while leaving the office crying? That would be nice, thanks.

Doctor/Insurance/HMO Rant. Grr.

**I wrote this post yesterday although it was long overdue.  I just hate this issue so much I didn't even want to deal with writing about it. need a read it, because there's a lot more to come when I tell you about what happened at a last minute appointment I had today.**

Even though I am incredibly concerned about getting pregnant, I haven't had a doctor's appointment since July or August.

In February (6 months TTC) I had my last regular yearly exam.  I mentioned that I was TTC without success.  I had my calendar with all of my cycle info with me.  But he basically said there was nothing major to worry about and didn't really ask other questions.

In June (10 months TTC) I met with the same doctor again, this time focused on conception.  Again he did not look at my info or ask any questions.  I'm not sure how forceful I was about showing him my documents, but I remember being frustrated after.  I feel like an idiot when I walk out of a doctor's appointment feeling like I didn't say what I wanted to say.  I'm not a passive person, but I also don't want people to get "upset" with me for being pushy.  I don't know what happens.  At this appointment he also told me that he would be retiring.

We had another appointment two weeks later in June and I honestly can't remember why!  I think I wanted to talk to him one more time before scheduling the "infertility appointment" since I knew that I had no coverage for it and the appointment itself was $400!

In July (11 months TTC) Mr. GG and I went together for our first Infertility appointment.  The nurse told Mr. GG he was not the important one in this process, basically just an accessory, and that set the tone for our interactions with her.  More on that in a sec.  The doctor was pleasant and ordered the SA for Mr. GG, Day 3 Blood Tests for me, and an HSG.  He knew that we didn't have coverage and chose specific places for us to go (outside the system) for cost effectiveness.  I thought that was nice.  The problem with this appointment (again no looking at my calendar or the charts that I took two hours to recopy by hand) was that there were no real "next steps" beyond getting the test results.  I do remember him saying that basically the RE would be next, but I just felt unclear.

I got my test results online and they were normal.  But getting Mr. GG's SA results was a bitch!  The office he went to wouldn't release them to him because he's not a doctor and we couldn't get the results online because the original appointment was under my name, not Mr. GG's, so it was like they didn't exist!  Eventually the nurse called Mr. GG, but come on!  DH has a slight morphology abnormality, but it's not major.

Because the results were good, we weren't sure what to do.  We didn't want to go back and pay for another appointment if there was no need, but we needed more guidance.  After a series of emails with the nurse, I decided I never wanted to go back to that office.  She was never overtly rude, but I felt that she was intercepting my emails and answering them myself without consulting the doctor.  I'm sorry, but I don't want your opinion, I want the doctor's!!  When I asked her about progesterone testing, post-ovulation, she said that she had never heard of it.  Seriously?  It's not that uncommon lady.

Then school started and I did nothing.


Tuesday, October 18, 2011

Infertility Testing: The HSG

One of the first things your doctor will ask you to do if you are having difficulty getting pregnant is the HSG, the Hysterosalpingogram (you better believe I had to look that one up!).  It has to be done about 7-10 days after the first day of your cycle, when your lining is the thinnest.

The HSG is an x-ray test that is used to check the "plumbing."  The doctor injects dye into your tubes and then checks everything out on a screen to make sure there aren't any blockages and that everything is present.

I was totally freaked out about getting an HSG because I had heard some girls have major cramping during and after the test.  I put it off much longer than I should have.  I had forgotten that somewhere in my endless hours of Google research I had learned that the HSG can actually increase your chances of getting pregnant for the few months following the procedure.

Here's how it went: I got the test done at a place that only does radiography.  I checked in and paid my $300. (I will go over my insurance situation in another post.)  I wore a cotton skirt and shirt and was allowed to keep them on during the exam.  You have to put your legs up kind of like the OB/GYN stirrups, but under the knee and your whole leg is in the air.  There are two people in the room, just like during OB/GYN exams.  They insert something (like a speculum but don't remember exactly) then put a smaller tube through your cervix.  This part feels a bit weird.  For me it didn't hurt exactly, but it was not comfortable either.

KEY: Take 2 Ibuprofen before the appointment.  I did this and that might be why I had no problems.

After the dye is inserted it slowly makes it's way through your tubes and YOU GET TO WATCH!  It's totally weird but cool.  I had no idea that fallopian tubes are really long and look just like angel-hair pasta. They are super skinny and stringy.

I passed the test with no problem.  I had to wear a pad for a few hours for the dye, but honestly not much came out.  I had mild cramping but nothing too uncomfortable.

And...we got pregnant during the same cycle, so maybe it did clear something out?  Here's hoping it works the cycle after also!

Did anyone have a similar experience or was yours of the painful variety?

Monday, October 17, 2011

6 DPO Update

The first week of the Two Week Wait (TWW) is the one where you start making up symptoms even though it's too early to really have any. 

"Honey, I'm really tired, maybe it means I'm pregnant."

"Honey, that ----- smells really disgusting,
maybe I'm pregnant?"

"Sorry I'm so irritable honey, maybe I'm pregnant..." : D

Over the last week I've had one nagging issue that is out of the ordinary for me: really sore muscles and joints.  I play soccer about three times a week so I am used to being sore.  But this week has been different because the lower body muscle fatigue was unnconnected to days I had played soccer.  It was like I literally did not want to stand or walk.  Then last night, my back and shoulders hurt like crazy, more tension than fatigue, but I hadn't really done anything to cause it.  So that's my phantom-symptom of the month!

Six dpo is the turning point though.  Last month, when I actually got pregnant, extreme exhaustion occurred on 6 and 7 dpo and spotting started at 7 also.  So I'm transitioning to possibly real symptoms : )  And I do realize that many ladies have no symptoms until after they find out their pregnant, but where's the crazy-fun in that?

Today I also have nearly egg-white CM.  I learned a few dozen google searches ago that this is caused by an estrogen surge about a week after ovulation (sadly, not a sign).

My temp was on the slightly low side for this half of the cycle (97.6) but I blame DH for throwing our normal comforter away, leaving us with one thin blanket.  I was FREEZING all night!

Where are you ladies at in your cycles?  Any promising signs of your own?

Saturday, October 15, 2011

BBT Charting

I have been charting my basal body temperature (BBT) for 7 months now and it has literally changed my life.  (For you "Parks and Recs" watchers, please read that line in Chris' voice : )

Let me give a super-basic run-down of charting for the newbees: (most material from Taking Charge of Your Fertility (TCOYF) by Toni Weschler, MPH)

The goal of charting is to figure out when you ovulate.  The only problem is that charting only tells you after.  So you need to BD plenty before ovulation occurs...

First, you need a BBT thermometer.  Mine is the pink one from Target.  Make sure it is a basal thermometer.  My thermometer beeps when it's done and saves the temp, so I can take it with my eyes still closed and go back to sleep.

I've heard mixed reviews about this thermometer, but it's worked well for me!

Take your temperature at the same time every day, before you have gotten up in the morning.  It's important that you've had at least 3 hours of uninterrupted sleep for your temperature to be accurate.  Checking your email first, or going to the bathroom will raise your temp.  I take my temp at 5:30 a.m. because that is the earliest time I get up.  On the weekend and in the summer I still take my temp at this time.  It's early enough that I can still fall back asleep.

Wednesday, October 12, 2011

Worst. Day. Ever.

Mr. GG and I have been TTC for 449 days.  #397 was definitely the worst.

(Gear up for it...this is gonna be a long one!)

I got my first ever BFP on a Saturday morning during cycle 13.  On Tuesday morning my temp dropped.  I googled "low temps but pregnant" and spent at least an hour trying to come up with some excuse to say that the temp was normal.  Eventually I found a post saying that when she went to bed with her hair wet her temp was lower.  I thought, "That's it!  I went to bed with my hair wet last night!"  Crisis mildly averted, but I wasn't confident.

My temp was still low on Wednesday morning although not as low.  I was worried, but went about my day.  The craziest day ever.

Backtrack (I said this post was a long one!)

I was elected Department Chair this year, something I have always wanted to do.  Leading teachers is much scarier than teaching students and so far I have spent more time planning our professional development time than we have actual spent in our meetings.  Maybe a bit overkill, but that's who I am ladies.

Wednesday was a half-day at school, with department meetings after and then Open House in the evening.  Get to school before 7 am, leave after 8 pm.  Yuck.


I rushed to the bathroom after the bell at 11:50 so I could get back to planning the department meeting and quickly eat my lunch.

My heart dropped.  I started my period.  Bright red.  No questions, excuses or google searches needed.

I HATE crying in front of other people.  I don't like for other people to feel bad for me.  My sister couldn't talk at that moment and my mom was out of town, so I had to turn to teacher-friends.

Friend #1 is pregnant.  She listened to my story, then launched into a laundry list of all of her medical issues while pregnant.  I was pissed and not comforted.

Friend #2 is further away from my room.  I tried to hold back tears while passing other teachers and the moment I stepped in her room I totally burst into tears.  She helped me to calm down and try to erase the traces of my crisis from my eyes and neck and face.  (I'm one of those people who turn hyper-color when really upset.)  Mind you, department meeting which I haven't finished planning starts in about 15 minutes by this time.


I got through the meeting in survival mode since I hadn't eat lunch and didn't get to finish planning.  I wasn't even slightly prepared for open house which started 2 1/2 hours later.

But before preparing for Open House, I had a BIG FAT Margarita with my girls at El Torito. It was awesome.

Open House went really well. It probably was a good distraction. 

And then, 14 hours after my day started, I was home and cuddled up next to Mr. GG on the couch.

Have any of you gone through a miscarriage or chemical pregnancy?  How did you deal?

Tuesday, October 11, 2011

Mr. GG's Biggest Sacrifice: The Hot Tub

Poor Mr. GG loves the hot tub.  I love it too, but not quite like Mr. GG.  He would get his hot tub on every day if he could.

We got our hot tub shortly after moving into our current house about 3 years ago.  We used it frequently; probably 3-4 nights a week.  I liked to go in there because Mr. GG is a little bit ADD and having him in a confined space with no distractions allowed me to get his full attention : ).  It was our fun little night-time routine.  He goes outside, hangs the towels on the fence, takes the cover off and gets in.  I run out after with a plastic cup full of wine and jump in quickly so I don't freeze.  We even have a exit-deal.  He has to get out first and get the towels if it's dark, but I have to do it if it's still light out.  Oh the twilight debates...

Now, our hot tub is lonely (and probably filled with algae).

Sadly, Mr. GG has not been in a hot tub since our honeymoon in Costa Rica in August of 2010.

He understands that the temps can kill his little men and he doesn't want to have any personal excuse for our inability to get pregnant.  But I don't think he thought his hot tub ban would last this long!

Sad/funny note: As soon as I found out that I was pregnant last month, just about the first thing he said was, "So does that mean I get to go in the hot tub?"  My response: "Yes honey, as soon as the first trimester is over."  Good thing he waited! : /

Sunday, October 9, 2011

Hitting the "Window"

In my extensive TTC research, I learned some things I never knew before.  Like that sperm can live for up to 5 days and that an egg lives for 12-36 hours.  And consequently, I didn't need to be so freaked out about getting accidentally pregnant throughout my 20s.  

But I also think this info gave me a false sense of confidence.  I have tracked every single baby-dance (remind me to think of a new term for this!) for the last 14 months.  If we BDd within 5 days of getting an egg on the CBFM or temp rise since I've been charting, I felt like we were successful.  Sure, we tried to do it more often than that, but it didn't always work out.  Mr. GG and I have definitely had at least double the amount of sex in the last year compared to the previous year.  

"Let's just do it tomorrow..."

Here's the problem with our timing; my cycles have ranged from 27 to 40 days during those months.  For the first few months I wasn't using the CBFM or charting temps and we probably quit too early each month.  During the CBFM phase, I don't think it was accurate; therefore, we again may have quit too early.  Since I started charting we've done much better, but life gets in the way some times.

Bottom line: It is absolutely possible that Mr. GG and I have mis-timed things for an entire year, just by accident!

I think my fertile "window" is on the shorter side.  So rather than 5 days, I think we've got more like 12-24 hours.  Last month, we hit it.  This month we did too.  

1 dpo today.  Fingers crossed.

Saturday, October 8, 2011

Product Review: Clearblue Easy Fertility Monitor

In month 5 or 6 I bought the Clearblue Easy Fertility Monitor after hearing stories about how many people it had helped get pregnant.  I had a suspicion that Mr. GG and I had been mis-timing things for potentially all of the first few months. (It's hard to time right when one month is 33 days and the next is 40!)

I was really excited to start using the monitor and eagerly awaited my egg each month, BUT I'm not sure I would recommend it.

Cost for Monitor: $115 (ebay)
Cost for 90 test sticks: $150 (wow...never added that one up before!)
Overall Grade: B-

Thursday, October 6, 2011

My TTC Mantra: "No Guilt"

I was raised Catholic, but I'm not sure whether that's where my guilt comes from or not. 

On a typical day I feel guilty that I haven't planned my classes better, graded that stack of essays, that I ate that whole Snickers bar, that I'm feeling so get the picture.

So TTC threw a whole new guilt-wrench into the equation.  No, don't drink that glass of wine.  Is that chicken organic?  Is my shampoo making me infertile because of all of the chemicals? 

Around the 8th month I decided I needed to chill out.  Hence my mantra, "No Guilt."

And so to quote my favorite animated movie of all time, which is awesome in 3-D by the way,

I will drink moderately, usually not during the two week wait.  I will not stress about whether my diet is 100% organic or whether or not I should have coffee or green tea.  I will live the same pretty-healthy life I have been living for the last 31 years.  And when I am stressed, I will get a massage, do yoga, or have a delicious glass of wine.

Tuesday, October 4, 2011

Selfish Biyatch: Jealousy - Part 2

I'm still jealous of every single person who has a) gotten married after me and is pregnant or b) got pregnant right away, barely trying.

BUT - the rest of my jealousy evaporated around month 6 when my sister got pregnant.

It wasn't pretty at first.  Sister GG called me at school one afternoon and told me that she was pregnant.  We had a short conversation and then I cried.  I did.  I'm the selfish older sister who was upset that she got married first and was even more upset when she got pregnant before me, without really trying.  (She's 3 years younger than me and got married 1 year earlier).

Then she called me 3 weeks later because she was miscarrying.  I have never felt more empathy for someone else as well as extreme embarrassed guilt at myself.  I will never be upset for a second when someone I care about says they are pregnant.  It shouldn't have taken my sister's pain to shock me out of my self-centeredness, but it did.  In general, I am a much calmer, less bitter person.

The army of moms that interrupted my run at the park with their stroller-aerobics class though, jealousy on.

Sunday, October 2, 2011

BFP...for 4 1/2 days

Mr. GG and I were elated when after 13 long months, we got a BFP!  Honestly, I kinda thought First Response tests just didn't work since I'd never seen anything but white space.  I carried the stick around the house with me all day so I could keep reminding myself it was real.

I knew I was pregnant this time.  I had implantation spotting starting on Day 7.  I'm a chronic spotter, but never that early.  I also had crazy strong cramps along with the spotting and EXTREME fatigue on 7 and 8 dpo.  I took the test at 10 dpo and I wasn't surprised that it was positive.

The next 4 days were crazy. I seriously couldn't quite believe that I was pregnant after all this time.  I took another test on Sunday.  I joined all of the early pregnancy boards and looked up which books to buy.  I told my mom and sister on Saturday and few others on Monday and Tuesday.  We agreed not to really tell anyone until safe time, but I couldn't keep it completely to myself.

And then my temp dropped.

It happened Tuesday morning.  I spent every spare moment between classes googling temp drops in early pregnancy.  Finally I found a post where a girl said that her temps were always low when she went to bed with wet hair. I did that Monday night!  I was excited to find an excuse for the temp, but I've realized over the last year that if it's that hard to find another person who has your symptom, it's probably not a good thing.

To be continued...