Sunday, September 23, 2012

Hospital Update $2

Thank you so much for all of your well-wishes and success stories. They were just the mental medicine I needed over the last two day!

Yesterday was really tough for me and for Mr. GG although we both dealt with it on our own.  

I cried a lot.  What kept setting me off was picturing all of the scenarios that the neonatologist set in front of us.  They have to have a decision on whether you will intervene to help a severely premature baby. Also, we need to start taking steroids two days before the time that we decide to have interventions.  Hearing the word "comfort" as a type of care after a preemie birth just sent me straight to tears (still almost does).  BUT...I am not going to have a super-premature birth!  (I still could - that's just my positive thinking at work.)

Honestly, we have worked so hard to get this baby into the world that I just cannot imagine the universe would allow us to lose our precious baby.

The other biggest obstacle yesterday was just letting go.  I decided that I needed to make a list of all of the things I need to let go of:
  • being in charge of my day-to-day life
  • teaching this year (until maybe the end)
  • being at Open House
  • going to the AP Conference next month
  • wearing my winter maternity clothes
    • list is comprehensive!  and I was preparing for the worst case scenario - this one might not be a done deal.
  • having a baby shower
    • ditto - feeling more positive about this one now
I did this while crying, but it really helped and I've been totally okay with everything today.  I've just been planning as if I won't leave this room.

I also emailed everyone at school and did the "FB post" which helped make it real.

And then we got some good news.

I was feeling extremely shitty physically this morning.  Magnesium causes hot flashes (or just hot face for me), dizziness, nausea - all of the stuff that makes you be able to do nothing while on bed rest.  I couldn't even focus my eyes if I moved my head too fast.  But since my contractions were well-controlled by that point (only one in half a day), they tried lowering my dose by 25%.  The effect was magnificent!!  I can read.  I can think (kind of - I was trying to explain to my mom where to find the dog food and I couldn't think of the word "furnace" for the life of me...all I got was that thing in the house that heat, you know, with the sister figured it out).  I can laugh.  I can handle this.

Sure my veins are shot from having my blood drawn out of just ONE ARM every 6 hours...  And my butt is killing me from sitting in various positions on this hard bed.

But my contractions have stopped and I can deal with all of the other stuff.

Right now I'm dealing while listening to baby's beautiful, regular, strong 140+ heart rate.

Oh...the good news:
Since the contractions are controlled, they are going to try taking me off of the Mag tomorrow and back onto the oral pills.  They'll watch for 24 hours and if the contractions increase I'll go back on Mag of course. But if they don't...pills mean I can go home!  I've done such a good job preparing myself for staying that I am almost shocked, but now I'm ready for either scenario.

Home will still be 100% strict bed-rest. And I honestly don't think I can have puppy around on bed-rest, but it'll be good.

I'll probably have another update on Tuesday.


  1. Sending you a thousand positive thoughts. It is good news they have been able to stop the contractions for now. Lots of love to you, Mr Green Grass and you little one who will be ok! xox (I can do positive thoughts too) :-)

  2. I'm so glad that they have your contractions under control. Can't wait to hear another update.

  3. So glad to hear things are starting to move in a positive direction and they were able to back down the Magnesium. I hope you'll be on the pills and heading home soon. Most of all I hope this was only as far as this goes and once home and on bedrest the rest of this pregnancy will be without any more scares. Any idea why you started bleeding in the first place? I read your first post but I didn't see a reason mentioned. I hope they find the reason so they can treat that.

  4. Me oh my, I am all behind. I am so sorry you have been dealing with all of this very scary stuff. I am so glad you are, at least, going to be able to go home even if it does mean bed rest. Many hugs and positive thoughts my dear.

  5. Hang in there! Keeping you in my thoughts.

  6. I'm thinking of you!!
    I'm so happy you are being amazingly positive!
    Although I wouldn't have expected to read anything less from you!

    Fingers crossed the pills do the magic and you can go home!

    Sending you TONS of hugs!

  7. Just saw your post this morning. Sending tons of thoughts and prayers! Stay strong and positive!

  8. Thank you for the update! So glad to hear that things are moving into the right direction! Sending lots of positive thoughts your way! Keep us posted.

  9. Glad to hear the contractions have stopped! Hang in there and sending lots of love and no-more-contraction thoughts!!

  10. I didn't get a chance to comment on the first post. This must be so scary for you, but good to hear that it sounds like things are getting better. I hope you'll be able to go home soon.

  11. Agh, I had missed your last post and just saw this. I'm so glad the Mg is helping and that you were able to reduce your dose. I'm thinking tons of positive thoughts for you.

  12. I was just going to FB message you for an update. SO glad that something is working and I really hope things keep heading in the right direction. You are a very strong lady! That precious boy is going to be fine and you are going to be a great mommy.

  13. So glad to hear there is an improvement! Making a list of things to let go, and clear your mind of was a great idea. You just have to focus on you and the baby right now. :) I hope you get to go home on pills, and things continue to get better! I can't even imagine what you've been through these past couple of days.

    Take care!

  14. So glad things are looking a little better. How scary...please let go of school. It will go on just fine without you!!! Take are of yourself and your little man, hopefully you still have a lot more time being pregnant and get to enjoy a wonderful baby shower...thinking of you!!!

  15. Hey sweetie, sorry I missed your previous post. I'm glad the contractions are controlled. Think positive and keep growing that baby boy. I'll keep you in my prayers. xoxo

  16. Oh, sweetie! I'm thinking about you! You've been through so much crap, it is not fair at all.

    Screw school. Take care of you and baby boy!

  17. I'm so glad you contractions are controlled and I really hope you get to do your bed rest at home.

  18. (long time lurker, infrequent commenter)
    just saw this update and wanted to say how sorry i was to read of this scare. im glad to see the contractions are under control though. my partner was on strict bedrest for 10 weeks, so i am a big believer in the power of bedrest. hang in there and take it can do this, mama.

  19. Just wanted to let you know that I am thinking of you. I hope that things are still under control today.

  20. I'm so sorry you're going through this but so glad the contractions have stopped! Hope they chill out and don't come back for another 18 weeks! Just wanted to let you know that I'm in a very similar boat right now so please know you're not alone in the scares and fears of a constantly complicated pregnancy! Thinking of you and wishing for a peaceful rest of the pregnancy!