If you read my Valentine's Day post, you'll probably realize that our marriage has been work recently. Or maybe not even work as much as two people living parallel lives united mainly by our love for our little boy. I don't know if it was infertility or having a preemie or the regular newborn lull or just us in general, but we've been struggling. And any one of those factors would be a valid source of stress in a relationship.
But...we don't have any huge issues, no infidelity and definitely not hatred. We just have a piling up of lots of the little things. He thinks I nag all the time. I don't think he cares about me. We're sarcastic instead of truly friendly or loving. (And there is very little going on physically between us.)
I think the low was January though. We've had occasional conversations about the state of "us" and each time, we have tried a little harder. The first step was doing more things as a family on weekends. Family outings are fun, even if they're small. It's really different and special to feel like "a family." An outing might be a trip to the park or a long walk around a golf course or a trip to Costco. We're also planning our first Disney trip for next month!
And we've taken another step forward in the last week or two. (Admittedly, I'm initiating all of this, but I think he needs me to right now and it's abundantly clear that the energy and effort one person expends yields similar benefits in return.) I'm trying to do more around the house to keep it clean (he's much, much neater than I am and messiness just causes an underlying level of constant frustration on both our parts). I made dinner last night! I've started kissing him good-bye before I leave in the morning (he's still in bed) like I used to do when we started dating. We're cuddling for a few minutes before we go to sleep... I can't tell you how huge this one is! It feels nice and loving and normal and like old times.
I never expected marriage to be perfect or not be work and I know for many marriages, this is one of the hardest times (we also are in our 7th year which is also commonly a tough time). So I'm willing to truly work on it and I look forward to what our relationship will be months and years from now.
I absolutely want to be married to my husband and I'm pretty sure he feels the same. He's a fantastic father and a really great person. I'm pretty sure he believes the same about me.
We're just working on being a great husband and wife.