I really didn't ever feel alone. I mean I felt like I was a member of a somewhat small unlucky minority, but I never felt alone.
The biggest reason is that a close friend of ours went through the exact process we did about a year prior to me. She shared every step of her process. And at the point she was going through it, I was already thinking/worrying we might have to too since I had already been trying for a year.
I also knew of multiple people, including my sister, who went through miscarriages while I was TTC. Multiple people talked about them so I knew just how prevalent they are.
I also had a very close friend who had been TTC about the same amount of time as me. She never did interventions and was never planning to (and we both conceived within two weeks of eachother), but I knew she was in the same boat.
I wrote a post years ago detailing how many people I knew in real life that were going through infertility. The numbers are astounding...but the only reason I didn't feel alone is because people were talking.
I started this blog and found the infertility community pretty early in my journey and that really brought everything together. I had support on a daily basis from people who were in the exact same shoes. I never felt comfortable in mom's groups with "regular moms" and now I call many of those IF bloggers friends and many of our children are around the same age.
After I got pregnant, I did post about our struggle in my FB announcement and I immediately got a response from a childhood friend that I wasn't very close to. She was going through IF right then...so was our newborn child photographer (tough job for IF!), and a coworker. I always tell people, they can ask me anything...medicines, doctors, procedures..., but I think the most important part is that I told them I had been there too. That they are not alone.
If you haven't told anyone about your infertility, I encourage you to do so this week. On FB, in person, whatever works for you, because I promise, you will make at least one person feel that they are not alone.
I always think of you when I think of some brave people. You have always been open and honest about your IF struggles and pregnancy, reduction, etc. I admire you for it.
ReplyDeleteCan you imagine a world where people talked about living with IF/RPL more than they actually do? A world where instead of shame, there is support? You've given me a glimpse of that with this post. And it fills me with so much hope.
ReplyDeleteThis is wonderful! I didn't want to talk about IF when I was going through it, but once I got pregnant and I opened up more, I found so many other people with similar experiences. I wish we'd been willing to talk about it earlier. Now I feel like people are pretty open with me, and I don't know if it's because they know I understand or it's just how they are. But it does such a service to everyone when we share. I'm glad you didn't have to feel alone.
ReplyDeleteDeborah
It's wonderful that you found a community with-in your circle to go through it all with - to talk to. I hope to gain more of a "real life" circle in the coming years. I can imagine it would be great to call up a friend and chat about IF issues. Great post.
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