I'm just not going to cry in front you and tell you how I really feel.
And do you really want to know anyway? I know you care, but it'll just get really awkward really fast if I tell you that I cry randomly throughout the day with no apparent trigger. Or that I also cry when anything changes at all. I'm talking...you tell me you're coming at 4:00 and then change it to 3:45 kind of changes.
And ask me to think hard about something? Impossible. Sometimes I forget why I got up from the couch.
I have no real desire to talk to anyone (besides my husband and my doctors). I have no desire to go anywhere socially. I just want to sleep. And to have Dylan have a good calm day.
Pump. Clean. Pump. Maybe eat. Maybe shower. Pump. Drive to hospital. Pump. Repeat.