100th Follower!

I just want to take a quick minute to recognize Jamie, my 100th follower!!  (There isn't a prize...just a big shout out). : )

When I started blogging last September, I felt lucky when 50 people read my blog in a day.  That was a  GOOD day!  To have 100 people actively following this journey is really special and it keeps me motivated to keep be honest open like I have been this whole time.

I didn't need therapy through this infertility journey because I had all of you.  Seriously.  Talking out my issues and worries in this arena helped me to not overburden the people around me in real life.  And feeling a sense of community through such a trying time is just invaluable.

Thanks to each and every one of you from the first follower tot he last as well as the many times that number that come visit this site each day.

I've been feeling very tired and lazy lately, but this milestone just reinvigorated me to make sure to get some great posts out.

First, I've got to go meet my nephew! My sister is being induced tomorrow at 9 am.  Wish her luck! : )

Prescription: Shopping

I've been feeling kind of down the last few days and most of the reason is because of the uncertainty and waiting for the future and second, that my clothes do not fit.

I bought a cute dress last week and ended up wearing it three days in a row.  Really.  I saw different people each day (including my husband).  Then on Saturday night, we went to the movies and I wore my one pair of jeans that still fit (I hadn't worn them in 4 or 5 days) and they were tight.  As the movie started, I unbuttoned the top 2 buttons.  After awhile I just unzipped them also.  My one pair of jeans are dunzo.  Awesome.

The next day I went to a 1 year old birthday party with my BFF who is also pregnant (2 1/2 weeks ahead of me).  My BFF is super skinny, always has been, so I've expected to compete.  I knew that I wouldn't be super thrilled about people comparing our pregnant bellies as soon as she told me she was pregnant.  But little did I know that I would have 3 babies in my belly to her 1.  And I can't tell her (for a variety of reasons).  So anyway.  I wore Spanx to the bday party which made me self-conscious and uncomfortable the whole time.

Cue today.  Today is my mom's birthday.  My sister (who is 5 days overdue by the way) and I had lunch with her at Nordstrom's Cafe and since we were at the mall, went to A Pea in the Pod.  I didn't want to shop for maternity clothes too early because I didn't want to jinx things, but they are a reality so I either have nothing to wear or I suck it up and shop.

But shopping is fun. : )  I only shopped for jeans because I have plenty of yoga-style skirts to wear.  I don't have many pairs of designer jeans in real-life, but I was willing to splurge today.  I got one expensive pair of skinny jeans, 1 pair of lighter wash cropped jeans, and 1 pair of plain jeans (which can be my "fat" jeans).  Two of them were on sale so score!

My mood was instantly lifted because now I can be excited to put on clothes that still make me look good and are comfortable.

The mood took a bit of a hit when I got home to one mean, nasty blog comment.  But since there are dozens of super supportive comments for the 1 mean one, I feel really lucky and happy.  Thanks to all of you for listening and offering hugs.  It means so much to me!

I did take a belly shot at 10 weeks...maybe I'll show you all soon.  We'll see : ).

Now just waiting to meet my little nephew!!  She'll be induced on Wednesday if it doesn't happen tomorrow.

Multifetal Reduction

Alright.  It's time.  I've been kind of dreading this post, but it needs to be written.

At our 1st ultrasound (after IVF), we learned that we were carrying 4 babies (after transferring 2 embryos).  We immediately knew that we would look into reduction.  (The NP also mentioned it upon concluding the ultrasound.)  By the next week, there were only 3 babies; 1 Singleton, and 1 set of monoamniotic, monochorionic twins.  That means the twins share a sac and a placenta.

With 4 babies, reduction is a no-brainer.  Yes, you can deliver 4 babies, but the risks are extremely high.  With 3 it's just a tad less of a no-brainer (for us) because triplet pregnancies can be successful.

But first we need to talk risk.

At the top of the literature I received from the Maternal Fetal Medicine Dr. is this:

"In general the average delivery for multiples are the following:

TWINS:           36 weeks
TRIPLETS:     32 weeks
QUADS:         28 weeks

The risks increase if there are 'identical' fetuses."

Identical twins carry increased risk in general, but if the twins share a placenta, the risk is increased and if they are in the same sac, the risk is increased further.  My twins share both.

Sharing a placenta creates a risk of Twin-to-Twin Transfusion Syndrome.  One baby may not get enough nutrients from the placenta while the other baby gets too much.  This is a cause of early labor.  If they are in the same sac, the cords can get tangled and/or twist around the babies.  This is a huge risk.   In most cases (according to my perinatologist), a woman would check in to the hospital at a pre-determined week in order to get constant monitoring of the babies.  She said this is very taxing on the mom and the nurses because the babies are difficult to monitor when that small.  This would probably happen in the 20's (weeks).

Adding another baby into the mix increases each risk factor, pre-term labor, still birth, hypertension, gestational diabetes, etc.

She also went over all of the risks of pre-term babies, especially those born right after viability.  I won't go into details because they are not fun.

*     *     *     *     *

This was not exactly a hard decision for us.  Both of us would have known at any point in our lives that this would be the right decision (we are totally on the same page which is great).  We don't accept the risks for me, the pregnancy, the chance of actually delivering a healthy baby, or the difficulties in life afterwards.  

This is the less popular part to talk about (life with 3 babies), but I'm not willing to put the strain on our marriage or other relationships that three babies would entail.  We would need constant help from others.  There would be no way that I could continue to work.  I know that women do this successfully and I totally applaud them, but we can't do it.

*     *     *     *     *

I live in San Diego, a very large city, but still both my RE and my perinatologist referred me to a doctor in Los Angeles.  No doctors in San Diego do reduction.  Besides - for this high risk procedure, you need to go to the best.  This doctor gets rave reviews for her expertise and bedside manner.  

She even called me personally to consult on the procedure.  

We have to decide in the next day or so whether to do CVS (chorionic villus sampling) to check whether the babies all have normal chromosomes.  

The reduction is done between weeks 11 and 14.  The timing is to get past the natural highest miscarriage risk.  The risk of miscarriage after the procedure is 5-7% (which is lower than the risk of miscarriage with triplets).

When we get there, she will have to consult on what she can actually do.  If she cannot get to a baby, it cannot be reduced.  Our singleton is below the twins which is good, because there is a higher risk of reducing the baby closest to the cervix.

I cannot wait for the procedure because I feel like this entire pregnancy so far is just waiting...waiting for it to be normal.

*     *     *     *     *

I realize this is a very difficult subject to talk about and that there are many people who would not make the same decision that we are making.  I believe most of these values are virtually unchangeable in people, so I do not try to change people's core beliefs.  I ask that you respect our decision also.  There is truly nothing that would change our choice, so I hope to avoid comments that are just designed to hurt.  (Trust me, this has been quite a trying process so far.)

I am writing this post and sharing my story because it's real and it's not very common.  I found one girl online (on Fertile Thoughts - there is a selective reduction board) going through the exact same thing as me - same doctor even - and it's really helped to know that I'm not alone.

I've always been extremely candid in my life and on this blog and I hope that you respect that.

What I Bought at the Store Tonight

Literally.  That's what this post is about.

I took a 3 hour nap, then woke up hungry.  Sleep.  Eat.  I'm practically a baby myself.

My husband likes normal food and I like random things.  And especially lately, I have a really hard time deciding what to eat.  But every once in awhile I have a flash of knowledge.  Tonight's was "I want artichokes!"  But Mr. GG doesn't like artichoke.  And I couldn't figure out anything to make both of us happy, so I just bought whatever I felt like at the store.

Here's my list:

• Cool Ranch Doritos - I've always liked these, but I don't eat them often.  I've been on a salt fix recently.
• Salsa Verde - I really wanted tamales the other night, but couldn't find any.  I LOVE salsa verde. I don't have anything to put it with...didn't even buy tortilla chips, but I have it.
• Lots of Fruit: nectarines, cherries, bananas, juice
• Orange Gatorade - I constantly have a headache.  I think I'm drinking enough, but it's really hard.  So I bought some Gatorade to supplement.
• Red Licorice - I really wanted one (from the self-serve canisters) but I didn't want to steal it, so I made a small bad.  I ate one anyway, so it's basically the same difference.
• Tropical Jelly Beans - I ate these while I shopped.  Sometimes I really just need sugar.
• Milk - Organic 1%.  I'm still newly in love with ultra-pasteurization.  It lasts forever!
• Cereal - My Kashi Go Lean was too expensive at my store, so I got Grape Nuts which I haven't had in forever and a bran flake cereal.
• Vanilla Yogurt
• An Artichoke - Of course!
• A loaf of french bread

Pretty random, right?  None of this really goes together to make an actual meal.  But I guess it's there now if I crave it!

I have my first ultrasound with the perinatologist tomorrow...10 weeks.  I'll update afterwards.

Still planning to reduce in a couple of weeks.  I'll write more about that when I'm up for it.

Pretty random, right?  None of 

9 Weeks! Time to embrace the bump.

This post was originally going to be about weight.  I've been struggled with body image with pregnancy weight gain.  I've seen so many posts out in the blogosphere referencing weight in some way or another that it just really shows that no matter what your size, most of us have struggled with body image at some time or another.

All in all, I'm pretty lucky.  I've fluctuated within about a 5 pound radius since high school (which is 14 years ago now!).  But I'm only 5'4 so a few pounds up or down is extremely noticeable.

Since I've gotten pregnant, I've gained about 4 pounds.  I'm very near my all-time high weight which was after an all-you-can-eat Spring Break cruise.  I've been focused on how my pants don't fit and how much I dislike the way I look naked in the mirror.

But 2 days ago, I made a shift.  I decided to start embracing the "bump."  The only thing holding me back was the date.  I really started showing at 8 weeks.  Most people don't show until after the first trimester.  But after seeing the 3 babies all growing properly, and googling when people usually show during triplet pregnancies, I've come to the realization that the bump is really real.

*     *     *     *     *

I hit a milestone today too.  I graduated from my RE.  We had an uneventful ultrasound (not fun to see a super blurry screen after seeing clear shots 2 days earlier - and I was sore today!), but were really excited to see our actual doctor right after the appointment.  We basically just ran into him when we was in between appointments, but it really made me happy.  He gave me a big hug and said I was the easiest patient ever.  We've only seen him 4 times throughout the entire process, so it was very nice to see him today.

Then as we were leaving, I told the receptionist that it was our last appointment.  For some reason this made me super emotional.  She's a really sweet lady who always made me feel very welcome.  She said that they had a "graduation gift" for me, then came out and gave me a big hug.  I totally teared up but didn't let DH know because I felt a little stupid about it.  

The gift was a pregnancy planner, some magazines, and a onesie that says "Miracle Baby" on the front.   Uh oh.  I'm tearing up again.

*     *     *     *     *

Now for the symptoms.

I feel better in general.  But I'm also having a harder time eating most thigns.  Going to a restaurant is kind of a nightmare because I don't really know if I'll be able to eat the food when it comes out.  Last night I ate 3 bites of a salad, then came home and had PB&J.  The hunger has subsided too.  I still need to eat frequently, but small snacks and meals are working well.

I'm totally off of Mexican and Asian food.  I can't exactly explain why.  So I guess I'm on an eternal search for bland, healthy food.  Luckily fruit is delicious and I made a BIG trip to Whole Foods earlier this week.  Yum.  Fruit.

Well...that's what's going on today.  Oh and school is out.  I've never been more excited for the end of the year!

First Non-RE Appt.

I miss my RE's little tiny office.

Instead I parked in the middle of a massive parking structure and navigated endless hallways until I found the OB department.  At least everything was well-labeled!

I met the high-risk nurse/midwife today.  She's a really sweet lady.  She took her time and was very detailed in her questions and exams.  But one thing pissed me off.  I'll get to that at the end.

After endlessly talking about my medical history, she did a pap smear.  Fun.  And then we got to the ultrasound.  She inserted the lovely wand, but didn't like the picture and said my bladder was too full, so off I went to pee and then we actually switched rooms.

Before the appointment today I was irrationally worried that there were no longer any babies inside me.  On a similar note I thought well if we lost one last week, what if we lose one each week for the next 3 and again...no babies left.

But we immediately saw the singleton.  Mr. GG had a very important golf match today so I invited my mom to come instead.  (She was thrilled that I asked.)  (And I made this appointment yesterday fully knowing that the odds were low that Mr. GG would be able to make it.  He and I were both ok with it.

I swear that the ultrasound lasted an hour, but it probably wasn't quite that long.  She took a very long time orienting herself and figuring out where all the babies were in relation to each other.  She also spent quite a bit of time searching for the triplet that didn't make it.  We kind of saw a small empty sac, but that was about it.  It didn't seem worth the discomfort to me!  She took tons of pics and the paper actually ran out in the machine.  She had me hold the wand inside of me while she refilled it.  (In front of my mom...which was probably only slightly better than in front of Mr. GG.)

But that's not what annoyed me.  What annoyed me is that I mentioned selective reduction at least 3 times as well as on the intake papers under the section "topics to discuss" but she completely ignored it.  I understand that people have differing beliefs about it, but as a medical professional, I at least expected her to discuss the facts about it.  Hopefully the real perinatologist will be better.  (I go there in 2 weeks.)

I then gave 9 vials of blood (no joke) but the phlebotomist was awesome and the blood seem to flow really quickly which made it go really fast.  Then I had to do a urine test and miraculously squeezed out about another ounce of liquid after already peeing 3 times during the visit.  (I'm a freak!)

Although I've been super stressed finishing up school, I've felt better in general the last few days...needing to eat a touch less and able to work out a little bit.

I say goodbye to the RE on Thursday.  I'm going to be sad...

Please excuse any mistakes in this post.  I got up at 5 to grade the last of the papers and I'm biding time until graduation (starts at 5, I have to be there at 4).  I just don't feel like re-reading.

Busy.

I feel bad that I haven't been posting much, but it is the end of the school year and it's just craziness!

I still have essays to finish because even though I know it's a bitch to grade them at the end of the year, I always feel like me students need just one more to really be prepared for the next year.  (They argue that they'd be just fine without it...).

Graduation is tomorrow, grades are due on Wednesday morning and I have to be out by Wednesday afternoon.

Every year teachers have to basically pack up their rooms - not completely, but everything must be put away and cleared from all surfaces for custodial work.  I've barely started this process.

And in the meantime I'm sleeping and/or making medical appointments!  I finally booked a regular OB appointment with Kaiser.  They were able to get me in tomorrow!  I'll be meeting with the nurse practitioner in high-risk pregnancy/perinatology.  I'm glad they set me up in this direction without me having to force it.

I have my final RE appointment on Thursday.  It's really weird to be leaving them!

It still sounds like I'm going to have to start with Kaiser, then go to another HMO, then back to Kaiser because of the school layoff situation.  The news is getting better, but nothing has been done yet.

And on top of that - I got a summer job!  I wasn't planning to work, but this job just kind of fell in my lap at the last second.  A friend referred me to an SAT test prep company (but a really cool one who doesn't just teach tricks - they teach actual skills) and I start next Monday.  It's just 3 hours a day, 4 days a week.  I'm a little sad to be working, but a little happy to keep up with teaching over the summer.  (And Mr. GG won't ask me what I've done each day in an accusing way.)

So that's the super quick update.  I'm sure I'll have more to say after the appt. tomorrow!

8 Weeks

I don't know what it is about having 3 babies in me, but I think I'm a little less worried than other "infertiles" are during the first trimester.  I guess I feel like I have back-up?  I totally understand that there are still many risks tough and that I'm not in the clear.

I also want to clarify things a bit.  The main reason I am relieved about currently having triplets instead of quads is that I feel less like a science experiment.  It was a really weird, alien feeling, knowing that there were 4 babies growing inside of me.  (I'm just being completely honest.)  When you say "triplets" to people, they get it.  Quads are so rare that it immediately makes people think of ART (which is true) but I'd like to only let selected people know.  I may have referred to the babies as aliens...

We have one more ultrasound with the RE next week on Thursday.  I still need to make a regular OB appointment.  I don't know why I'm slacking!  But I think they'll see me pretty much right away too.

There are also still a lot of risks with this pregnancy.  We will find out more about the identical twins in the coming weeks, but if they share an amniotic sac, there is a major risk of Twin to Twin Transfusion Syndrome, where nutrients are unequally passed between twins.  If one twin has problems, it can affect the other since they share the same placenta.  (Don't quote this summary.  This is only basic, basic research which has formed my current understanding.  Still need to read more.)

We are still hopeful that nature will decide our course, but we will still look into selective reduction in order to insure the best odds of a healthy pregnancy and baby.

*     *     *     *     *

Symptoms:  Nausea has been horrible this last week, but either I'm getting used to it, adjusting my eating, or it's getting a little bit better.  I still feel some degree of bad, usually combined with a headache, most of the time.  Still no puking though.

My tastes have definitely shifted towards healthier foods (for the first month I was craving hamburgers and hot dogs.  Now it's mostly fruit and peanut butter and jelly.

I get muscle spams in my abdomen when I cough if I'm laying on my side.  It's weird.  I'm feeling definite changes in my abdomen.  My muscles are tight and I feel the need to stretch a lot.

My boobs actually seem a touch less sore (or I'm getting used to it).  But they're definitely larger (though not a cup size yet.)

I also feel less like I'm bloated, and more like I'm just bigger.  It's annoying, but more comfortable I guess.

And I'm really, really tired all of the time.  

*     *     *     *     *

I'm also at an insurance crossroads.  Insurance really has been such a bitch!  I first switched as of January of this year to the plan that included infertility coverage up through IUI.  BUT...I had already started with my RE and we just continued through him (out of pocket) so there was really no point in switching.

Now...I'm laid off (as I mentioned here and here).  Last year the school district extended health benefits through the summer (although I was not affected last year).  I kind of assumed they'd do the same this year, but they are not going to.  My benefits end on June 30th.  

THIS IS THE ONE SUMMER IN MY LIFE THAT I HAVE ABSOLUTELY HAD TO HAVE HEALTH COVERAGE.

If I do COBRA, it's $900 a month.  FU school district and health insurance companies.

I can switch to my husband's insurance, but technically you are supposed to enroll 1 month before the plan becomes effective.  Luckily he works for a small company and can get benefits started on July 1st.  It will cost about $550 a month.  BUT I have to switch hospitals again.  It'll be back to my old HMO system which is familiar, but it's just frustrating that I'm going to have at least one appointment with 1 doctor, then switch to a new doctor.  But at least I have a husband and I have that option.  So many of my single friends are going to roll the dice...

There are only 2 doctors in my region that do selective reduction.  So I'm sure that won't be covered either (if it's necessary).  I guess we'll see though.  

I'm planning for our kid to be a golf tour pro.  They make a lot of money. : )

Update: Triplets!

I knew there was no way our appointment today could be as shocking and stressful as last week's and I was right!

The same intern came in with a new NP and they both talked about how shocked we were last week and asked how we were doing.  The intern said that I was entirely red from the neck up (not a weird thing for me).  I said that we are doing much better after having a week to research and let the information sink in.

Immediately we saw 3 babies on the ultrasound.  The now identical twins are measuring 7w3d and the singleton or "Singleton" as we like to call him/her is measuring 7w6d.  I'm very really that they are all growing appropriately!  My RE cannot measure heartbeat, so I'll have to wait until the regular OB for that.

I also found out today that I get to quit Progesterone at 9 weeks which is really soon.  I wish they would have told me before I re-ordered since it is damn expensive!

That's it for the moment...I'm feeling really relieved and quite a bit more normal right now.

Writer's Block?

I've started 3 posts since yesterday, but I'm just not feeling them.

So I'll keep this short and sweet.

1) Ultrasound number 2 is tomorrow!  I'll be 7w6d.  I don't have any specific expectations for it, but I want much clearer stats on how the babies are measuring and what their heartbeats are since I didn't get that the first time.  I also want to know from the docs whether it's normal to be "behind" when there are 4 (because they seemed to be behind last week).  It makes sense that it would be normal, but I need some validation!  And I guess I just hope there are no shocks...last week was enough.  No 5th baby appearing - please.

2) I cannot believe the impact of LFCA!  I had over 2,000 pageviews yesterday!  That is WAY above average.  There are also 12 new followers!  Welcome.  I'll try to add in some additional background about myself over the next few days.

3) School is out in 5 days.  I am extremely excited about this.  I'd like to experience my nausea and exhaustion on my own schedule - or at least as much of my own as the dog with give me.

My appointment tomorrow is at 11:15 Pacific time...I'll try to update by 4.

My New Sunday

I've been having a slight inspiration issue the last week or so. And when I do get an idea, it's usually complaining and I don't want my blog to turn into that.

 et's just say that so far, it hasn't been exactly "fun" to be pregnant. I am extremely excited and relieved, but I'm not enjoying it yet.

Take a look at my Sunday to see how things have changed.

7:45 - Let dog out. She also gets to come sleep with us for a bit. (Mr. GG is an early riser. I prefer getting up around 9 on weekends. So this wake-up time is a change, but due to the husband and the dog, not the babies.)

9:00 - Actually got out of bed. Mr. GG was nice enough to take Stella for a bike run which left me some peace and quiet. I convinced him not to go to spin today by agreeing to walk to our favorite breakfast spot.

9:15 - Walk a little over a mile to breakfast. Today is marathon day in my city and they run pretty near our house so we walked along the route to breakfast and watched while we ate. (So much easier than actually running! I think I could manage a half one day, but I don't think my joints could handle the full thing.)

Breakfast was delicious like I expected. I'm going to a tell you about it because I'm really into food right now - well some of it. I break the yokes of my over-medium eggs with one of my slices of wheat toast. I've done this since I was little. My mom called it "dunky eggs." Then I make the most delicious open faced sandwich ever. I put both eggs on top of my remaining piece of toast and then add bacon on top (extra crispy). The end product is messy, but delicious! Oh! And I also order 1 pancake on the side to get my sweet fix.

10:30 - Walk home. This portion is almost entirely up very steep hills. I hate hills and my aerobic stamina seems to evaporated to nothing over night. I managed though.

My entire goal for today was to clean the house. I've been putting it off for far too long and have baskets worth of clean clothes that need to be put away.

11:00 - But I was too worn out to clean right when we got home. It seems I need a nap and a meal every 2 hours! I slept until 2:30! (Same thing yesterday.) These quads have got me utterly exhausted!! At least I got. My exercise in.

2:45 - I woke up hungry, but nothing sounded good. That's a new recurring problem. I had a hard enough time deciding what to eat before being pregnant - now it's impossible! So eventually I ate 1 Bonne Bell cheese, a rice cake with peanut butter and jelly (my new favorite) and some lemonade. This lasted something like 5 minutes - then I was wondering when dinner would be ready.

Mr. GG really is an awesome husband and one of my favorite things he does is to make dinner on Sunday nights. I usually am really stressed on Sunday nights planning lessons for the week and grading papers, so he makes dinner. And he's a good cook! Tonight's menu was filet with grilled veggies and baked potatoes. Yum.

4:00 - I got most of my cleaning done with no less than 4 snacks along the way. Fruit always sounds good so that's just about all I got at the grocery store. I watched Holmes on Homes while cleaning. Love that show!

7:00 - We FINALLY eat! Damn baked potatoes take so long! I really can't handle not eating right now (not that this was a strong point earlier in my life). I get a headache, get tired, cranky - it's just a mess.

8:00 - Now.

I really do think that the tiredness and incessant hunger is a result of the quads. I'm also definitely getting some nausea and aversions. I basically feel some version of bad all the time. I'm hoping it won't last forever and I'm definitely glad that school is almost out because it's hard to function at work.

I've been doing a lot of research on quads and selective reduction so I'll be sharing that controversial info soon. Yay for comment moderation!

Lastly, thanks for sharing my news with LFCA whomever did so! If you are here from there, welcome!  The next fews months are going to be quite an adventure!

Weight Gain

I hear about so many of you out there that gain no weight the first trimester.  I totally understand this because of morning sickness, etc.  And the fact that you only require 300 calories extra per day.

According to:

When You're Expecting Twins, Triplets, Or Quads: Proven Guidelines for a Healthy Multiple Pregnancy 

 By Barbara Luke, Tamara Eberlein,

mom's of singleton's are supposed to gain about 12 pounds by 20 weeks.

Mom's of quads are supposed to gain 45 pounds!

I have also read recently that in multiples, first trimester weight gain is the best predictor of final birth weight.  Because of the increase in multiple births, more research has been done and the guidelines for weight gain have been increased for mom's of multiples.

Here's where I'm having a bit of difficulty - I will write about the risks of a quad pregnancy later - but in a nutshell, I am not willing to put myself or the babies at that degree of risk.  Therefore, I only expect to have a quad pregnancy during the first trimester (if that).

So where does that put me weight-wise?

My bump is equivalent to early second trimester.  But I'm sure most of it is bloat.

I've gained 3 pounds since starting IVF which doesn't seem like much, but it feels like 10.  I wonder if it's decreased muscle mass also...

My RE won't really discuss things with me until the next ultrasound because things can change so quickly in this type of high-risk pregnancy.  That's fine with me because I know that it essentially doesn't matter quite yet.

But for the sake of my singleton; do I need to be gaining a ton of weight so that it can keep pace with where it should be?  I imagine the answer is - probably.

I know a lot of new pregnant women struggle with the weight gain aspect of pregnancy, and I am too.  I've been at a normal weight my entire life.  Until I started IVF, I played soccer 2-3 times a week.  Now I'm doing nothing (except walking a bit).  And I feel gross.  I will work on working out more - gently - but I haven't had the time or energy in the last few weeks.  For the first 2 weeks, I felt very uncomfortable from the egg retrieval and probably mild OHSS and I just started feeling better physically at about 6 weeks - right before I was hit with the quad news.

Actually, the day before my ultrasound, I went for a longer more vigorous walk.  I tried running a block or two and it just didn't feel good (and my boobs hurt).

I'm just in a really confusing place right now because what's going on today might not be the same as what's going on at 10 weeks or 14 weeks or after.

For now, I'm definitely going to buy some maternity pants this weekend.