Tuesday, February 26, 2013

I cried.

Not long after I published my post yesterday, I asked if I could speak with the doctor. I knew Dylan had done well during the last 24 hours and I wanted to hear her thoughts.

So she walks in and says, "So Dylan's going home on Wednesday." Like I already knew this. I said "really?" She said "yep!"

And then she left.

And then I just started crying (damn...I'm doing it again).

I didn't think I cried happy tears but it looks like I do.

I just never thought this day would come.

I feel like we can finally start our lives as a family now.

When we're home, no one will be able to tell all of the things we've been through over the past 2 1/2 years. We will look like all the normal people. But we will be different. I'm not sure how that difference plays out in the real world, but it'll be there.

(Dylan just snorted and woke himself up...: ). He's napping on my chest while I blog on my phone.)

I feel myself physically unwinding. I definitely have some symptoms of post-traumatic stress. Seeing the little babies makes me weepy...even though I could handle seeing Dylan without crying. We watched a CPR video today that has actors play out scenarios with real babies. It was almost too painful to watch.

I rarely get sick, but after finals my 1st and 2nd years of college, I got a nasty flu. I can hold it together until the crisis passes and then my body finally deals with all of the stress. I wonder how it will manifest after this?

We are telling all visitors that they have to wait at least a week to come visit. I want to be in a cocoon and just be a family. And take newborn pics! (They're already scheduled for Friday.)

Sharing this experience with all of you and feeling your support and making connections with other preemie parents has really helped me to survive.

Excuse me while I go cry a bit more...

18 comments:

  1. Yay!!!!!!! Congrats :-)
    May his homecoming be smooth and blissful.

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  2. This makes me tear up with happiness!

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  3. I'd be crying too! This is the (almost) end of a ridiciulously long and harrowing saga - thinking of you! xxx You deserve this happy ending, you ALL do!

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  4. Oh and now I'm crying for you guys! So so so happy to hear you are going home and that this story has a good ending :) Seriously, this just made my week. xoxo

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  5. Oh, that is wonderful news!!!! I'm crying happy tears for you as well.

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  6. Such exciting news! It will pure (yet scary as all get out) bliss to have him home! I swear all we did those first few days is hold them and stare in wonder. No wires! No hospital! Bliss.

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  7. Weeping big ol tears over here! Much love to you and your family.

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  8. This is such great news! I'm so happy for you guys!

    Hopefully you will let us see a couple of the newborn pictures? I bet they are going to be ADORABLE!

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  9. Yay!!! I'm so happy Dylan is headed home....and crying happy tears is a wonderful thing!!! So happy I'm crying happy tears for you too :)

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  10. YEA! FINALLY :) I'm so happy for you and I don't blame you at all for wanting to 'cocoon' yourself for awhile. It's been a long time coming so soak up every minute of it while you can. So excited for you :)

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  11. This is such unbelievably exciting news! I've been following your story from over on WB, but never commented on your blog. I just needed to say how happy I am for you and your family. Congratulations!

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  12. YAY! Great news I'm so happy for you. I had PTSD after having my son Jace at 32w5d. I went to therapy, took zoloft and over time it got better. I totally understand your emotion right now, I'm glad Dylan will be coming home soon :)

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  13. Wow. CONGRATULATIONS X10000000000!!!!!! So Happy for you guys!

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  14. So excited for you! Since it took me awhile to comment, maybe he is already home?? Definitely take some time to cocoon and just enjoy having your baby. Can't wait to hear how it's going at home!

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  15. This is such great news. You three are probably at home, and it must be the best feeling in the world. Congratulations.

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  16. So happy for you! Enjoy baby snuggles with your little man all day long.

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