Monday, January 16, 2012

On Repeat...

Recently, one of my favorite bloggers, Jesica at Just Smile and Blog, wrote a post entitled Two for Three.  Over her long course TTC she has only ovulated 3 three times and of those three has gotten pregnant twice (one current, one ended in miscarriage).  I sincerely hope this one is "the one" for her!

My stats are quite different.  I seem to ovulate like a champ, every single cycle.  That puts me at 1/18.  I wouldn't even bet on myself with odds like that.  And that "1" was so short-lived.

I finally looked up IUI stats to see "if I'm normal" and all that crap.  I'm not sure why I never ask about the long term plan when I meet with the doctor.  I think it's truly because I'm so optimistic that each new thing will work that I don't need to know yet what happens when it doesn't work.

Basically I have found that for each IUI, there is a 8-20% chance of getting pregnant (studies have found anywhere within that range).  That puts it just slightly lower than the normal person average of 20%.

After 5 IUIs, the average success rate is 74%, a much more encouraging number.

Once I started spotting at 11dpiui, I emailed my nurse and asked what the next steps would be.

The results: 1 more 50mg Clomid cycle with Estrace to thicken lining.

Then we reevaluate.  Apparently I have to take a month off meds after 3 cycles anyway.  This seems like a reasonable plan, so I'm on board.

I didn't cry this time.  I don't think I cried last time either.  I really think the only times I have cried are the first time I found out my sister was pregnant, the day of the chemical pregnancy, and the day I freaked out at the doctor appt.  It definitely has something to do with how long it's been.  I think it's becoming easier to accept AF than it will to accept a BFP.  It's been built up so much I feel like my BFP needs to be a super BFP.  But at the same time, it'll be ages before I'll be able to accept that it's real.  I barely accepted it the first time.

So anyway ladies, that's where I'm at right now.  Same place essentially that I have been since August 2010.  I'm not sure if I've said this on here or not (and don't feel like checking) but I kind of feel like I'm stuck in the same place while everyone around me is moving forward.  On repeat.  One of my fears was that my friends would start having round 2 of babies before I had one and it's starting.  Two people are pregnant with #2 and a few more are trying.

But the bright side is that the rest of my life is good.  Husband good.  Work good.  Family good.  It's just this damn baby thing.


  1. I've had that fear too and when we were with friends on Friday night and I heard 2 of them talking about being ready to start trying for #2, I'm not going to lie, I had to talk myself off down that crying ledge. I keep trying to remind myself that it will be our time and it's gotta be someone's time now, but dang. That still sucks. I'm still pulling for us both and thinking each much we'll get our BFPs. But you're right, it's going to be hard to really trust that time when it happens after months of AF. Hang in there - the time IS coming! I know it :)

  2. Ok, I sometimes appreciate advice like the kind I'm about to give and sometimes not, so hopefully I'm not saying what a ton of other people have said already since I just found you. :)

    Do they check your progesterone levels? If you spot 11dpiui it sounds like you might have a short luteal phase which could be part of an implantation problem. Have you ever done prometrium suppositories? I hope I'm not stepping on your toes here, I just freak out and then thank my lucky stars when I hear or read something from another blogger that my doc never thought to tell me and it ends up working out in my favor.

  3. @The Cornfed Feminist - Not stepping on toes at all! Let me fill you in since you have been a rockstar commenter today. (I need to go back through your stuff tonight!)

    I never had Day 21 prog test before meeting RE and because he assumed it was low, he decided to start right away with 50mg Clomid and then test that month. Prog w/ Clomid was 19. I have told them that I am still spotting, but we haven't fully discussed it yet. My LP is 2-3 days longer than prior to Clomid...

    And I DEFINITELY think it's an implantation problem.