Friday, January 13, 2012

Pregnancy Blogs

I've seen a lot of discussion around the land of infertility regarding what to do when an infertility blog turns into a pregnancy blog.  Many people stop reading, for understandable reasons.  But the irony is that every single one of us desperately wants our blog to become a pregnancy blog.

So here's my take:

I started blogging in September 2011 right at the start of my 15th cycle and right after my very first BFP turned into a chemical pregnancy.  I slowly started the process of subscribing to other people's blogs.  I don't subscribe frequently.  I have to either find someone who is at a very similar place as myself, or someone who has a really fantastic voice.  For example, I don't typically subscribe to blogs with recurrent miscarriage as an issue since I don't have that problem (yet?).  Unless that same blogger is doing Clomid + IUI, then I feel that we are similar.  I also typically only subscribe to people who are similar in age to me as well as who have been trying for a long time. But there are exceptions to every single one of these "rules."

I hope you don't find my policy rude or exclusive in any way.  I'm trying to learn more about my own journey and I feel that these bloggers who are like me will educate me the best.  After all, we read what we like.

In the initial months, if I saw a blogger was pregnant, I'd click away immediately and practically shielf my eyes.  (Pure jealousy.)

But the last month or two I have shifted.  I go straight to the pregnant blogger's timeline and see how they got to that stage.  Unless I was already subscribed to the blogger and know her journey...then I might stick around.  I'm finding a lot of comfort right now from finding ladies who have gone through a similar ordeal and were successful.  But I don't subscribe to these blogs.  I don't need daily pregnancy updates.  I'd have to hurl myself off a cliff after a few days.

I hope that when my blog goes pregnant (fingers crossed) that I will find a community of pregnant and scared shitless mamas-to-be from the infertility world so that I can continue to learn from them and share my own journey.

I don't hope that anyone who is still infertile continues to follow me, because that's not fair.  But I promise to try my best to know my audience and be sensitive to our extremely fragile emotions.

(Don't take this post to mean I am actually pregnant and keeping it from you!  I am 11dpiui.  I *might* test tomorrow, but I'm already preparing myself for the worst and might not test at all.  At the same time, I just feel like it's going to happen soon since I feel like I'm finally on the right track.  So that's all this post is about.) 

I guess I will have news for you by next Wednesday at the latest.

Expect more posts that are not about my TWW until then : )


  1. Wow you read my mind! I've been having the exact same thoughts as of late. I'm 8 DPO and intending to test around 12 or 14 DPO if AF hasn't arrived. Couldn't agree more on 'knowing your audience.' Wise words.

  2. I've been contemplating writing a very similar post. I may be pregnant but I am loathe to leave this infertility community after what happened last time. I hope to eventually be able to write my blog from a happily pregnant perspective and find other pregnant bloggers but for now it's a "i'm pregnant and scared out of my fucking mind" sort of situation and the infertiles are the only group of women who understand it all. I feel SO disconnected from the general pregnant population and i actually unfollowed 3 bloggers in the last few weeks who suddenly announced their pregnancies. I can't understand how they're writing about baby names and nurseries while I'm busy worrying about whether my baby is even alive or not. One day I hope it all changes and that my blog will no longer focus so much on infertility and miscarriage and turn into a pregnancy blog where I blog about nursery designs, but for now...pregnant after miscarriage is all I can think about.

    Wishing for a happy outcome for you this 2ww!

  3. I hope that your blog turns into a pregnancy blog very soon too :)

  4. I hope it will come out positive for you and there will be a good pregnancy blog to visit here ;) and get good Pregnancy Tips