Trying to Prepare Myself

There seem to be a ton of first ultrasounds in the next few days.  I know of at least 5.

This TWW hasn't been as bad as I thought it would be.  I had enough symptoms to keep me occupied and enough business at work to stress me out like crazy.

But the closer it gets, the more nervous I get.

I had a dream the other night that it was triplets.  But that's not what I'm really nervous about.

People have asked if I care whether it's 1 or 2.  I really don't.

I find myself preparing myself for the worst.

I truly believe everything will be ok.  I have no reason to believe it won't be.

But until tomorrow, I really have no idea whether this is real or not.

Which is tiring!

People are excited for me...but I always tell them - wait until Tuesday.  Then we'll be a lot more confident.

I'm tired of waiting.  I want to hear a heartbeat and see a baby and then believe in this pregnancy.  I want to buy books and borrow things from my friends with babies.  But I haven't done anything yet.

Until tomorrow...