After reading this post by Mel about having different bloggers host discussions to help "heal" the community, I decided to volunteer.
Like (In)fertililty Unexplained, I am not majorly emotionally invested in the PAIL debate. I am a very interested bystander, well not bystander because I've commented, but as a newer blogger (6 months), I have only recently learned the extent of this community and opened myself up further to participate in it. I understand and empathize with both sides. But I am also disturbed by mean comments, wherever they occur.
I'm a mediator. As a teacher, it's a part of my every day job, and I think I'm pretty good at it. I guess we'll soon see whether or not this translates into the blogosphere.
I see a few major issues that should be discussed.
1) What can we, should we, should we not say on the internet?
For example: This is my blog and I can say whatever I want. But do I? No. For a variety of reasons. I'd like to hear your take.
A side note: There is some civility severely lacking in the world right now. Trust me; I teach high school. Is this the issue? Or part of it?
2) Part of me thinks that bloggers (i.e. the pregnant ones) not thinking that they can openly blog about their pregnancy is kind of a non-issue. Some people will stop following you just like in real life, some people will stop calling you to hang out for awhile. Because they have complicated feelings and/or are in a different place. Not everyone can stay BFFs in every situation.
But at the same time, I totally understand the need for support and community once you get pregnant after infertility. It's a big deal, fraught with all kind of extra fears and concerns that some women do not understand (i.e. the fertile pregnant ones). I also understand that you do not want to make the still unsuccessful infertiles feel bad. I've seen some extreme (I guess "bitching" would put it mildly) by some infertiles in the forums I frequent re: all kinds of issues, including posts by pregnant women.
So what's the answer? What needs to be said to let the support continue? Because I truly believe that almost everyone in this community wants to be happy and supportive.
So please comment. But please be civil. I am a huge advocate of a rational discussion. And I am so curious to see how this will work on the internet. And I hope to be pleasantly surprised. It seems that the members of this community really are a kind, educated (if somewhat hormonal) bunch : ).
Please think about how to get your message across, but at the same time, how your words will sound to all of the different people who will read them.