Friday, April 6, 2012

Just Chugging Along

I feel like time is flying and going super slow all at the same time.  It doesn't really make sense to me.

A friend asked me this morning if I was excited about IVF.  I said, no...excited is not the right word.

She asked, nervous?  No...not nervous either.

I still haven't thought of the word, but it's something along the lines of "just keeping going" (and that doesn't even work grammatically).

I guess cautiously optimistic would work but it would have to be mixed with cautiously pessimistic too.

I want this to work, but I'm not hoping it'll work.

The blog world has been amazing for me.  I didn't know anything like this community existed.  But with community comes a heavy dose of realism.  I can list names of people I have never met for whom IVF still has not worked.  Or it started to work, but ended in miscarriage.  I can't ignore that.  But I know that I need to be more than pessimistic to prepare my body.  I definitely believe in the power of positive thinking.

I haven't quite figured out what I will do, what my mantra will be.  I'm not sure how far I am going to take my diet, etc.  (I have another post planned on that.)  But I definitely want to give it the best shot I can...within the limits of my sanity.

In other news, I added up the cost for my meds.  Looks like it'll be about $3,300.  That's not bad!  If only we didn't have to add it to $18k.


  1. What kind of meds do you need? I have boxes of Bravelle I'm probably not going to use.

    Sorry if this posts 10 times, my phone is being mean.

    1. I am taking it still good?

    2. Yes, it Is still good.

      Email me

  2. I'm with ya chica. I want start date to hurry up and get here, but I'm scared to death. I want to be as hopeful and positive as the people around me who think IVF always works, but I know that it doesn't always work. Or worse.

    I'm not going nuts with the diet. I'm planning to eat and drink in a way to avoid OHSS, but that's it. I figure there's only so much I can force on my body... and I'm a stress eater.

    Glad your drugs aren't costing you as much as you thought!

  3. I am not excited... I am itching with anticipation & kind of mentally preparing for the worst at the same time.

  4. Everything you just wrote about is 100% what I am feeling right now too. You can't get your hopes up too much because the thought of it not working is devastating, but at the same time, how can you not be filled with a little bit of anticipation? Excited is SO NOT the right word. Wishing you lots of peaceful thoughts over these next few weeks.